Last Christmas
by KristoffBlackbeat
Summary: It's Christmas time once again, and Roderich has been invited to Francis's holiday party. He's not sure how to feel when he realizes that Gilbert is also there. (PruAus with implied PruIta in later chapters. Inspired by the song "Last Christmas." T for a few romancey things, to be safe.)
1. Arrival

**A/N:**

ugh guys ok this is my first actual fanfic so bear with me

this is gonna be hella gay and hella short for a chapter gomen

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**Last Christmas, Chapter 1**

The invitation was very appealing to look at, even as it sat there in Roderich's mailbox. He assumed it was from his old acquaintance, Francis—no, he was sure of it; the signature rose on the front was evidence enough. This was his invitation to this year's Christmas party in France. Francis held it every year, and he invited everyone. There was always a big tree, lots of refreshments, and, to Roderich's delight, a wonderful musical group that played in the parlor.

It didn't take the Austrian long to pack his things and dress himself up for the trip, and before he knew it he was stepping into the bright and warm house, where he was greeted by a friendly Frenchman.

"Ah, Roderich, mon ami!" Francis smiled and shook the Austrian's hand. "It's so nice to see you again. I hope you didn't run into any trouble on your way here."

Roderich smiled warmly in return, shaking his head. "The trip was smooth. I was caught in a bit of traffic, but for the most part, it was fine." He looked around the house, admiring the decorations and lights that filled and illuminated the area. "Thank you for allowing me to come here again. I always loved how you decorated. I don't think I could ever—"

"Francis! Hey!"

Roderich turned to give an irritated look at whomever dared to interrupt him, but when he was greeted with a wide smile and red eyes, he found it to be difficult to pull off anything but a frown. He didn't know how to feel about this man anymore.

"Gilbert," Francis said happily, giving him a one-armed hug. "I'm so glad to see you again, mon frère! Has it really been a year?"

Gilbert chuckled and shrugged in response. "Doesn't feel like it. It's like just yesterday you were begging me to finally come to this thing."

"Now you can say you've been two years in a row, oui? Next year makes three, if you decide to join us again."

"Well, I dunno—"

Roderich cleared his throat, and the two other men turned to look at him as if they were only just acknowledging his presence.

Francis nodded to Roderich. "Gil, you remember Roderich, oui? I believe you two got along well last year."

Though it was tempting, Roderich held back a scoff as Gilbert just nodded to him with a simple "Hey," to which he replied, "Hello."

Needless to say, the silence that proceeded to grow between them was unsettling. Francis didn't allow the tension to grow, however, and he clapped once to break the silence.

"I'm going to greet the other guests. Refreshments are in the kitchen down the hall, and the snacks are in the dining room. Have fun, okay?" The Frenchman then walked away to mingle with the people who were coming into the house, leaving Gilbert and Roderich there in their rather tense silence. Roderich merely stood there, pretending to look around for someone, while Gilbert just sort of stared off at nothing.

Eventually, the albino rubbed his hands together as if he were trying to start a new conversation. To Roderich's dismay, that wasn't the case.

"I'm gonna grab a snack. Nice seein' ya again, Rod." And, with that, Gilbert was gone.

Again. Just like last year.

Roderich had a look on his face that could have been of either anger or bewilderment. Both were possible at this point. Truly, he was angry at Gilbert for how he acted as though he and Roderich had never met, and he was also bewildered at how the man had the audacity to interrupt him one moment and avoid him the next.

Still, no matter how he looked at it, Roderich couldn't let him go. Not that easily. A whole year had passed since he'd last seen that man, and yet he had never really stopped thinking about him and the moment they shared for one night on the balcony of Francis's home.

He almost hated himself for it, too.

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i told you it'd be hella short

uh,, please review? if you wanna idk im just posting this to get an idea out of my head tbh


	2. Remembrance

**A/N:**

ok guys heres the second chapter, also p short and i apologize for that

enjoy ye

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**Last Christmas, Chapter 2**

Last year was wonderful. Roderich and Gilbert were introduced by Francis, just like this year, except they had actually shared a conversation. They'd had a few snacks together, sung some happy Christmas songs together, and had a few too many drinks together after the party. Roderich could remember most of it, still, since he didn't have nearly as much wine as Gilbert that night.

They stood out on the balcony, watching the lights of the towns in the distance flicker in the night's shadows that engulfed the whole scene, under the moon that refused to be covered by any clouds trying to hide its beauty. Their hands had slowly merged together on the railing, and their laughter had subsided into soft, near childlike giggling. It felt, to Roderich, as if the two were alone in the world, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Then, Gilbert had leaned close to the Austrian and let his lips brush against the soft skin on his cheek, which left the area warm and red with a blush.

Roderich had smiled, and Gilbert had smiled back.

The next thing that had happened was that Gilbert's lips came close once more, this time on the Austrian's lips, and soon they were back again and again until Roderich finally leaned up a little so that their lips were pressed firmly together, like they should have been.

And as their arms wrapped around each other in a warm embrace, Roderich decided that this was perhaps the first time he'd ever truly wanted someone.

But, just as quickly as it had begun, the night was over, and so was their time.

It was too soon for Roderich.

He'd woken up in the guest bedroom that Francis had allowed him to use. From what he could recall, Gilbert had shared the bed with him after they'd come inside from the balcony, but that morning he was alone. His first thought was that the German had gone to get a glass of water or something, but after a while of waiting, he decided to go check around to see if Gilbert had lost his way in the large house.

Roderich had searched the entire house by the time he found Gilbert, but he wasn't inside. He was outside with his brother and some younger man who seemed to be very excited to see him. What's more, he was fully dressed in a change of clothes, which told Roderich that he'd gotten up and left without bothering to wake him up.

That wasn't a bad thing, Roderich thought. He was coming back later. He just didn't want to wake him up, that's all.

Right when the Austrian let the thought go, Gilbert picked up the younger man (whom he believed was Italian) and spun him around in a hug. The sight made Roderich stop and watch for a little longer. He wondered why Gilbert and the Italian were being so affectionate with each other, or why they were holding hands, or why they got into their car without looking back at the house, where Roderich was watching them from the window in confusion.

It wasn't as if Roderich had never thought about this. No, he'd had a few little thoughts of Gilbert leaving from the moment their lips had touched, but he'd just brushed them off as silly insecurities that would never happen. They couldn't happen. Not to Roderich.

Of course, he realized at that moment that he'd been terribly, miserably wrong.

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thank u guys for reading my lame fic smooch

review if you wanna


	3. Anguish

ok guys here it is

the last chapter :oo this time its longer heck ye

i hope you enjoy it friends

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**Last Christmas, Chapter 3**

The party was twice as packed with people as it was last year, so Roderich occupied his time by meeting people he hadn't gotten a chance to before. They were all fairly nice, for the most part. He didn't stay with any of them, though, and he always ended up walking away to another part of the house.

He finally ended up in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee that Francis had set out for the guests. The scent temporarily took his mind off things, but it only lasted for a short moment, because Gilbert walked in as soon as he began to drink.

Once again, it seemed as though the man had no idea the Austrian shared the room with him. He merely opened the refrigerator and grabbed a cold beer without so much as glancing at the other figure. They were barely five feet apart… It was beginning to feel like Gilbert was ignoring him.

Roderich didn't like to be ignored. He began to glare at the man as he closed the refrigerator and leaned on the counter with his beer, which he popped open and took a good swig of. The room was silent, save the sound of the beer going down the albino's throat with every swallow.

After a few minutes, it was as if Roderich's glare had gotten through Gilbert's head to get his attention, because he looked over at him as if he'd heard his name.

They shared a gaze for a short moment before Gilbert finally asked, "Somethin' wrong?"

Of course something was wrong. There had always been something obviously wrong, and it was all because of Gilbert. It was all because of that damned night on the balcony; Gilbert's dumb, annoying, beautiful face; and that stupid Italian boy that Roderich never really forgot, either.

He didn't say any of that, though. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, really. This caused a silence that he couldn't stand, and he ended up taking his coffee and walking out of the kitchen without saying a word.

Perhaps that was a bit rude of him… He decided that he didn't care if it was rude or not. Besides, Gilbert had been rude to him, so why should he care if he was rude in return? Gilbert deserved it.

Roderich pushed quietly through the crowded house until he was clear of all people, standing on the balcony overlooking the towns with the doors closed behind him. Here, it was quiet, and he could think clearly, now.

It didn't take long for his thoughts to turn into those of anger and sadness. He wondered why he was still getting so worked up over what had happened a year ago, or why Gilbert acted as though they'd never been friends, or why he just longed to touch Gilbert's hand and then his lips with his own again, and to never have to part with them ever again.

All of this caused the man to have to set his coffee down on one of the small tables on the balcony and lean on the rails with his hands covering his face. He figured there was no point in crying, but that didn't stop a few silent tears to trace down Roderich's cheeks. Wiping them off with his sleeve and cursing them for falling, he wondered.

What was he even crying for? Not for Gilbert, of all things to cry about. He didn't deserve to be cried over. He didn't have these feelings for Roderich. It wasn't fair.

The doors behind him opened, letting out the noise of the party for a brief moment before shutting it out again. He didn't lift his head, even when he could hear someone stand beside him and join him in leaning on the rail.

"I thought I'd find you out here."

Roderich figured it would be Gilbert, and the somewhat rough voice confirmed his prediction. He only sighed.

It took Gilbert a moment to speak again, and this time there was a hint of playfulness in his voice. "You not gonna talk to me?"

Again, he wasn't answered.

There was a longer silence than last time, but Gilbert broke it again.

"You know, you were a lot more fun last year. You gave me a great time."

"It certainly didn't seem like it," Roderich finally retorted.

Gilbert seemed to be confused by the sudden riposte, because he hesitated before replying. "… What do you mean?"

The Austrian's hands fell to the railing to finally reveal his face. "You didn't really act like you had a good time with me."

That brought a scoff from Gilbert. "How the hell do you figure that? Don't you remember last year? How much fun we had?"

"Of course I remember." Roderich turned his head to glare at the man beside him, but when he saw those red eyes once again, he averted his gaze back to the lights ahead of them. "I remember the morning after, too."

Gilbert furrowed his brow a bit. "What about it?"

"All of it, really. From when I woke up to an empty spot beside me to when I watched you and a younger man drive off in your car."

Gilbert had a look of confusion on his face. He had to take a moment to recall whatever Roderich was talking about, but when he did, he turned so that he was facing him. "You mean Feliciano? The Italian kid?"

The Austrian didn't respond.

"… To be fair, I thought you were still asleep."

"How, in _any_ way, is that fair?" Roderich finally snapped. "You come around for one night, give me the best time of my life, make me feel like I'm the happiest man in the world, but then run off the very next morning with someone else without so much as a goodbye? Who do you think you are?"

Gilbert frowned, shrinking back a little. "It was just a fling, Rod."

A fling. That broke Roderich's heart instantly and brought the moisture back into his eyes, which only intensified his hurt expression. "… A fling? Is that really all I meant to you? Just another 'good time?'"

The albino looked at the lights ahead. It was his turn to be silent, now.

That was answer enough for Roderich, and he turned away from him.

The silence once again grew between them, and even the party that was raging behind them seemed to die down. Only the crickets could be heard at that point. Roderich was preparing to leave, unwilling to say anything more.

"No."

At first, Roderich had to think about whether he wanted to stay or not, but something caused him to stay and look over at Gilbert. He waited for another response. "… No, what?"

"No, that's not all you mean to me." Gilbert's voice was getting softer, and he seemed to lose his confident atmosphere.

Roderich frowned and looked elsewhere. "You said yourself, it was just a fling."

"It was." Gilbert rubbed his neck and sighed. "… It was supposed to be, at least."

"…" Roderich looked back to the albino. "… Are you implying that it turned out to be something more than that? Without your intention, of course…" The last part was added with a small amount of venom.

The albino seemed to be troubled by all this, which sort of pleased Roderich. "Yeah, that's… That's what I'm saying."

"If you expect me to believe that, then I'd like an explanation for why you ran off with Feliciano."

"He was just another date I'd set up before I met you. I thought he was nice und all, but…it didn't feel right. See, usually that doesn't happen. With all my other dates before, I didn't feel a thing. Except with you, the night before. You were different, und it was weird because I'd never had anyone that was different before. I let Feli go before the day even ended. I didn't even see a point in keeping him around like that because then it just felt wrong."

There was a silence following Gilbert's explanation as the other man ruminated over it.

Well… That sure cleared things up with Roderich. However, that didn't necessarily make him forgive the man for acting in such a way. He was apparently the type who'd take dates like hit-and-runs. How was Roderich supposed to trust him like that? He didn't want to be hurt again. "… So, what do you want to do about it?"

Gilbert rested his chin in his palm as he leaned on the railing. "… I don't know… I think it'd be stupid to ask for a second chance. I know how much of an asshole you think I am for doing that to you, but…"

"But, what?"

"… But, I'm willing to do better if you do give me another chance at it. I won't leave this time; you'll be the only one I see for a long time, unless… Well, that's a whole other deal, I guess. Too soon to be thinking about anything like that."

Roderich scoffed softly, but there was a faint blush on his cheeks at Gilbert's implication. "Much too soon…" He looked over at him, finally, and examined the man's face. Gilbert looked like a sort of shy child that was asking their sweetheart to prom. It was an interesting thing to see, given who Roderich was looking at.

"… But, perhaps I can allow another chance for you," the Austrian murmured out at last.

The albino looked over at him, his head lifting. "… You can?"

Roderich nodded once. "I can."

Gilbert smiled widely at him, suddenly taking him up in his arms with a tight hug. Roderich welcomed it; it was warm, which was more than what he could say for the way he'd been feeling the whole night. His arms found their way around Gilbert's waist to hug him back, and he closed his eyes. Soon, he could feel soft kisses peppering the top of his head.

Yes, this was what he'd been missing.

And if he could have this for more than just a night, then he supposed forgiving Gilbert would come soon enough.

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the end go home

thanks for putting up with this smooch merry christmas almost


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